Are you stressed? No you’re not, and I can prove it.
A team based University College London found that when they performed a meta analysis of 13 existing European studies covering nearly 200,000 people they found “job strain” was linked to a 23% increased risk of heart attacks and deaths from coronary heart disease.
So if we were to think about that for ourselves, how many people have said to themselves ” I am stressed”?
In NLP we call this a complex equivalence, it is where a person is saying that one thing is the same as something else… In this case “I” is the same as “stressed”. I AM STRESSED
This is clearly not true, ‘stressed’ is a state, and is separate to the person doing that state. To say ‘I am stressed’ is to suggest that the person is the same as the state . All a person is doing is choosing to do the activity of being stressed, and this activity is separate to themselves as an individual.
The first thing anyone needs to do in order to change, and to decide not to be stressed is to realise that ‘stressed’ and themselves as a unique individual are not the same thing, saying ‘I am stressed’ is factually not correct. Once an individual is able to separate themselves from the stressed state/activity then that person has moved into a place of taking control, and once in control change can happen.
All the time that an individual believes that they are the same as a ‘stressed’ state, and does not understand that they are separate to the activity of being stressed then change will never happen.
I am a man – this is factually correct.
I am English – this is factually correct.
I am stressed – is not factually correct, I can choose to do the activity of being stressed but it is impossible for me to actually BE the activity of stressed… It is always something separate to me.
This is about being in control of our mind, when we are in control of our mind we can be in control of our results, a fundamental principle of NLP.
No I’m not suggesting that simply accepting this fact solves the problem of stress, but what I am suggesting is when we get into the right mindset then resolving the issues and dealing with the problem becomes a reality.
I’ve used this technique personally so many times. When I was sadly bereaved 7 years ago I could say ” I am sad”, however this is again actually not correct. I may be very good at doing the activity of being sad, but sad is a ‘state’, not something physical. So it’s impossible for me to actually BE sad.
Recognising this allowed me to sometimes be overwhelmed by the emotion of sadness, then recognise that what I was doing was the activity of being sad incredibly well.
As soon as I had the recognition that what I was doing was an activity, rather than an actual state of being, I could regain control of my mind and decide not to do the state of being sad for another hour… Often until my mind became overwhelmed and I accidentally slipped back into that state.
And so the cycle repeated!
The words we say every day have a profound impact upon our lives, and saying things like ‘I am stressed’ or ‘I am sad’ sends a very strong message to our unconscious mind. In order to make changes we need to bring it into the conscious and then make a conscious decision not to draw the equivalence between ourselves and the activity of stress or sadness.
It’s OK to do the activity of stressed.
It’s OK to do the activity of sadness.
That is very different from actually BEING the activity of stressed or sad. This is factually not correct!
Profound? Yes, but also true, and when you begin to adopt this thought process you can find that it also allows you to make the changes you need and begin to live longer without the associated heart conditions!
The way we use language represents how we view the world around us, and how we use the world around us influences what we do, and ultimately our success in life and business!
These are some of the core principles of mindset management which are included in the courses in The Performance Academy. The Academy is a series of mindset and communication courses designed to help those working in health and wellness achieve success in business and life.
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